After the Form

Bang, bang-bang. Bang, bang-bang. Bang, bang-bang.

The repetitive yet timely sound of drumsticks hitting against stretched animal hide stirs me from peaceful dreams. Not one to miss out on an opportunity to write about whatever is parading by my house, emitting this loud but perfectly rhythmic noise, I decide that I will follow the source of the sound right after I wake up with a coffee.

I haven’t written for a while as I’ve been extremely busy researching and organising paperwork, the details of which will become apparent later in this post. But for now, drums. I head outside to find that whatever was causing the loud banging appears to move at astonishing speeds; either that, or I drink coffee a little too slowly. I jump on my bicycle and follow the distant echo of drums before eventually locating the source to a small shrine in Imado.

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It seems that I have inadvertently started my day with a funeral. The five monks stand within the shrine grounds, chanting and maintaining a steady balance of drums. I head back home to pick up some paperwork before cycling over to Asakusa. Outside the train station, the same five monks pass me again. This is quite a walk from Imado, which adds confirmation to the pace of these speeding monks. I take a train over to Ueno Station. The usual random mascots are here, serving no clear purpose but to frighten me.

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I change to the Yamanote Line and head to Shinagawa, a place I have only visited once before when I felt the need to stand inside the belly of a whale. This time, I am here to visit the Tokyo Immigration Information Centre. A note on their website claims that, ‘This is where all inquiries should first be made concerning immigration issues, wherever you are in Japan.’ Luckily for me, I am already in Tokyo; otherwise, this would have been quite the journey. Also, seeing as I am in need of information pertaining to immigration issues, it looks like I am heading to the right place; the so-called ‘centre of information.’

Much to my delight, as I leave the train, I find that a bus service regularly runs to the offices I am here to visit. Everything is running a little too smoothly.

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I am greeted outside of the immigration office by hordes of people giving out paraphernalia advertising their respective companies or cults. A woman is spreading the joy of Christianity, a man hands me a document offering ‘Legal Support for Aliens,’ and another man is holding a sign demanding China stop the act of organ harvesting.

Inside the Immigration Centre, I head over to the advice and information counter, take a ticket (147), and then find a seat. The woman at the counter is talking to a young French couple in broken English. Every few seconds, she lets out a yawn or scratches her head, illustrating her apparent boredom.

Eventually, the French couple leaves. The woman at the counter presses a button, and the bright red display shows the number 145. She waits less than three seconds before pressing the button again, displaying 146. Without much delay, she presses it again, showing 147—my number. As I approach the counter, her finger hovers over the button to call the next number, her eyes filled with resentment that I might sit down before her within my three-second window. I take a seat just as she sighs. I understand that maybe I am the one hundred and forty-seventh person she has seen today, not counting the people she frantically skipped, but this is her job. To counter her obvious state of disregard, I greet her in an overly cheerful manner, smiling as I sit.

The woman I talk to speaks limited English, looks bored, and probably hates her job. I inquire about the application form that I should take in reference to the activities I want to pursue in Japan. My questions are generally ignored, and at one point, the woman randomly says, “So you want to stay in Japan to study Judo?”
“No, I didn’t say anything about Judo.”
“Okay, but if you are studying Judo, you need to go to End Counter B, second floor.”
“Okay, I actually …”
She cuts away my words with metaphorical scissors of despair. “End Counter B,” she reiterates, “second floor.”
So much for the best place to visit for information and advice.

I head to the second floor, to End Counter B. As I approach, the woman, slightly more miserable than the last, looks me up and down and says, without any hint of emotion or benevolence, “Passport.” Just one word is all she spares me. I hand her my passport. She adds rather sternly, “What do you want?” I explain that I want to collect an application form for … Before I have a chance to finish my sentence, she says, “Application, go queue over there,” pointing to a line of about thirty people.

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I join the queue, wait thirty minutes, and then find out that I am in the queue for application checking. I am not here to have applications checked; I am here to collect application forms and ask for advice. So far, neither of these two things has transpired.

My third and final stop is back on the first floor. I wander over to the desk marked simply as ‘Information.’ “Excuse me, where can I collect an application form?” I ask.
“Here.” she says, as if she wants to add the word ‘obviously,’ but she conveys it only with her tone of voice. Eventually, she begrudgingly hands me an application form.
“Thank you,” I say. No response. My politeness falls on deaf ears. The woman just flashes me a frown that contains the absence of all the hope in the universe before trudging off into a sea of misery.

Three counts of rudeness in one hour. It is no surprise that the hundreds of people here, waiting with folders or loose paperwork, look so dejected. Of all my time in Japan, a country that prides itself on politeness and good customer service, this is the rudest I have been treated and the smallest I have felt. The service here is disgraceful, not helpful, and has filled me with no confidence at all going forward. Perhaps this is the hidden agenda: make everyone feel unwelcome so they never come back to complete their applications. Regardless, I have to come back, most likely next week.

Outside, I am handed more leaflets for various different things. A woman tries to give me a newspaper. I say I am fine. She asks me where in Canada I am from. I say I am not from Canada but England. She mutters something about Elton John and then walks off. After wasting what was effectively a whole day, I leave with none of the much sought-after advice I had taken the trip here to receive. Instead, just an application form that I could have quite easily downloaded online and printed out myself.

I head over to Asakusa in need of a drink. On the main road, a protest is taking place about atrocities caused by North Korea. The people here have megaphones and sound extremely angry as they shout in Japanese.

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Trying to take in their words, I can’t help but be distracted by the late January Christmas decorations that loom over the protest.

As I walk toward one of my favourite bars, an elderly woman on a bicycle drops her handbag but doesn’t realise it. “Excuse me!” I shout in Japanese before she has the chance to ride away. She stops her bicycle and looks back. I scoop up her bag and walk over to her, promptly passing her the handbag. She apologises and thanks me, nodding her head more times than I can actually count in Japanese. She is so thankful, so happy that I helped her, and at this moment, just a slight bit of the decency and politeness of this culture finally returns—the kind of decency that has made me love Japan but has almost been entirely washed away by the events and abhorrent treatment I had experienced this afternoon.

Tourism is a Dancer

Today I wake up to find that the hostel has been decorated with ‘Happy Halloween’ signs, spooky spiders, and multicoloured pumpkins and bats. Thinking the staff might have got the date wrong, I ask, “You do realise that Halloween isn’t for another month?”
The reply from the receptionists, “We know, but it looks so cute!” Fair enough.

I take two different trains to Koto, to the Tokyo International Exhibition Centre, nicknamed ‘Tokyo Big Sight.’ Today is an event oddly called ‘Japan Travel and Tourism Association Tourism EXPO Japan.’ The annual event is to increase awareness of tourism in Japan and to promote different countries and cultures from around the world. The exhibition centre is massive, looks like a spaceship, and is about to take off.

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Tokyo Big Sight opened up in 1996, and will be the main broadcasting centre for the Tokyo 2020 Summer Olympics. The area outside is flourishing with well kept plants, perfectly cut lawns, benches, art pieces, and sculptures. The area inside contains an eight-storey conference tower, the East Exhibition Halls, and the West Exhibition Halls.

Today I head to the East Halls, six in total but merged to form two massive halls for the event today. Inside I am greeted by megaphones and mega queues. I arrive just after 1 p.m., queue for half an hour, before paying ¥1300 entry fee. I begin my tourism journey in East Hall One.

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The exhibition includes booths from 150 nations and regions, all here to promote tourism in their respective countries. Additionally, booths from the 47 prefectures of Japan aim to raise awareness of local culture. Everywhere I go, I’m handed bags of souvenirs, each emphasising a specific country or prefecture. Mock passports are available, encouraging visitors to collect fake air travel stamps from the various countries represented here.

As I wander around, I spot two Japanese geisha. I haven’t previously seen a geisha in Japan, so this is a nice bonus. They even smile and let me take a photograph.

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The geisha are here to promote the area of Nihonbashi. I am handed an envelope containing a fake boarding pass and loads of smaller flyers advertising their area. One of the flyers describes Nihonbashi as ‘The crossroad of past and present – diving into an array of unique Edo experiences.’ It also features advertisements for local food outlets in the area, coupons for tea ceremonies, and adverts for shops that sell traditional crafts and gifts.

East Hall Six contains a massive RV show, which is of no interest to me. East Hall Five is littered with stands from outside of Asia. East Hall four contains stands for the many Japanese airlines and corporate companies. I continue my wandering around, getting more and more free flyers and bags of promotional material. It seems every stand here has some form of entertainment or a weird mascot. The Okaniwa stand even has an aquarium showcasing many of their tropical fish.

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There is a section promoting Japanese Traditional Crafts, along with another section commemorating the 400th anniversary of Tokugawa Ieyasu’s death. The Robot Restaurant even has a stand here, featuring robots and scantily clad women to attract business. Pocari Sweat is hosting a talk about their plans to land on the moon. Drums can be heard in the distance everywhere I walk.

In addition to the aquarium, Okinawa is hosting a live dance and drum show. Men from Kanazawa Prefecture are balancing on dangerous-looking ladders while wearing traditional robes. A renowned female vocalist is performing on stage, but photography is not permitted. The people of Switzerland are dancing, and a sign inviting to ‘Meet South Africa’ hosts a live percussion show.

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Egyptians dance too. The Taiwanese perform a circus act. China showcases a folk dance. South Korea presents a performance from an all-female K-pop band, followed by a live talk show where, again, no photography is allowed. Many more stands are hosting talks. I have a nice chat with the people of Bhutan, a country I’ve been interested in visiting for quite some time. I also discuss Climate Change and their government’s decision to go carbon neutral with representatives from the Maldives. Additionally, I have a random chat with Brianna Acosta, better known as Miss Hawaii 2013.

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I wander around a bit longer, enjoying the diverse dances, playful mascots, and individuals dressed as samurai. Overall, the exhibition is quite enjoyable; it provides an excellent opportunity for the people of Japan to engage firsthand with other cultures. Simultaneously, there is also plenty to discover and learn about Japan here.

Eventually, I tire and take the two trains back to Asakusa. Here, I dine at an Italian restaurant. The Japanese owner comes to talk to me after my meal, asking loads of questions. Apparently, he sees me almost every day and wants to know where I am from and what I am doing in Asakusa; he’s just curious, I suppose. When I go to pay, he randomly gives me a ten percent discount. “Grazie!” I say to him, but ironically, he doesn’t speak any Italian. Unbelievable.

Mascot, Mascot, Mascots

The elevator stops at a random floor. I stick my head out, but there’s nobody there—very odd indeed. Outside, the rainy season has decided to take a day off; the weather forecast for Tokyo today is ‘scorchio!’ I am up quite early so I decide to do my laundry. I chill out in the ball bath for a while whilst waiting.

Once finished I leave the hostel and decide to check out Kappabashi Street; a road I have walked past at least thirty times since being here but have never bothered to venture down. It is a shopping street selling many specialty goods, mostly kitchen products. This street is littered with pink lanterns. It also has its own special mascot, the kappa, a Japanese river imp.

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After walking the full length of Kitchen Street, I arrive at Ueno Station. Here I take a train to Ikebukuro.

I visit an art gallery, only to find a sign inside stating ‘closed today.’ I start to ponder if anything in Japan is ever open. Outside, I notice a sign reading ‘パフォーマンス中’, with ’12:15′ scribbled below it on a whiteboard. Translating the sign, I discern it means ‘performance at 12:15’. It feels like my Japanese learning is finally paying off.

I head across to a nearby McDonald’s to kill half an hour and to kill my healthy diet. I sit down in a private booth, there is a screen in front of me so nobody else can watch me eating. All very strange.

Back outside the performance is about to start. A man appears dressed as a type of Godzilla human statue. He walks slowly to the middle of a large open area and stands on a slightly raised platform. Here he remains perfectly still. Two minutes later someone puts a coin in his collection bucket. It is at this moment he comes back to life to give the person a ‘thumbs up’, before returning to his original position.

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It is a hot day. The sun burning in the sky, but there is not a bead of sweat on the man. There is a moment of comedy when a woman poses next to the statue for a photograph, presumably she thinks the statue is real. The man steps off his raised platform and sneaks up on the lady; when she finally notices him she lets out a loud scream and everybody laughs. After a while of literally standing around, I decide to grab the train bound for Harajuku.

At Harajuku Station there is a sign with arrows pointing to nearby tourist attractions. Takeshita Street, Yoyogi Park, the NHK Building, and Meiji Shrine. All four are within five minute walking distance from the train station. I toss a coin and it lands in the gutter. I toss another and it directs me to the NHK Building.

NHK is Japan’s national public broadcasting organisation, its equivalent being the BBC. Inside I see everything from props and set locations, the history of NHK, quiz machines to test my knowledge of NHK, a machine that lets you be a nature cameraman, and my favourite activity, a mock up television studio.

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At the mock up studio I am seated at a news desk and instructed to look at the camera. Next, I take part in a fake weather broadcast. I stand behind a Tokyo skyline and point at things which are being projected onto a large television screen. It is all very exciting.

I get the chance to witness a live broadcast. Behind a large glass screen, NHK is airing a television show called ‘Studio Park Kara Konnichiwa.’ It’s a live chat show featuring two hosts, a guest, a producer, and four cameramen. I stand and watch for a while, probably fifteen feet away from the show’s hosts, before eventually realising I can’t understand a word of what is being said. So much for my Japanese learning finally paying off.

Leaving the NHK media theme park, a statue of Domo-kun waves me goodbye. Domo-kun has been the broadcaster’s mascot since 1998, and is described as ‘a strange creature that hatched from an egg’. Goodbye Domo-kun! The exit leads out into Shibuya. I am surprised just how close together everything is in Japan and wonder why people waste so much time here on trains.

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On the train, I see an advertisement for the FIFA World Cup; it shows the mascots for the Japanese National team. They are the Pokémon characters Bulbasaur, Charmander, Chespin, Fennekin, Froakie, Helioptile, Litleo, Meowth, Pancham, Pikachu, and Squirtle. I am looking forward to the World Cup and think Japan are worth a punt at 200/1. Back at the hostel I discover that England’s game against Uruguay is at 3 a.m. here. I am no longer looking forward to the World Cup.

I eat Wasabi flavoured crisps, watermelon, and my favourite food, Cheese Mushi Cake. I then head out to the English bar where I practice my teaching skills. Much to my delight, the English bar is playing Beatles Radio; a mix of original and cover versions of Beatles songs. I stay until last orders and head back to the hostel to find a party going on and a guitar.

I play ‘Give up the Ghost’ by Radiohead. After I finish a man says that the way I play reminds him of Thom Yorke. His comment makes my day. Later, three ladies from Thailand who had heard me playing earlier approach me and start talking to me in Radiohead; the perfect end to an evening.