Show My Gear, the Policeman Said

I am standing in Seven Eleven, queueing up to buy my morning coffee. The man two before me in the queue smiles and nods as our glances cross. I don’t recognise him, yet he keeps his eyes fixed on mine, quietly staring. Eventually, he points to his eyes and says, “Your eyes are blue.” He seems to be in a state of amazement, “Europa?” he asks.
I decide not to correct him, despite me not being from one of the moons of Jupiter. “Yes,” I say, “England.”
He pauses for thought for a time before asking, “Are you happy?” His question catches me off guard, and I have to give it a certain degree of thought. Perhaps I look a little miserable because I am standing in Seven Eleven at 9 a.m. I eventually reply with a yes. “Good, you should be happy, have a nice day.” With that, he pays for his can of beer and leaves the store.

I cycle over to Asakusa, to Senso-ji Temple. To mark the four-year anniversary of the Great East Japan Earthquake, the temple has opened up its secret garden and gallery to the public. ¥300 to enter, and all the proceeds will be donated to support the ongoing recovery. A sign at the entrance says, “There, it is an old beautiful Japanese garden made 400 years ago, it can take a walk.”

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I have often seen these gardens on the maps around the temple, and even tried to find them once or twice, but to no avail. Now it is clear to me why; they were a secret. I start queueing just before they open at 10 a.m. Waiting in line once again, but with nobody asking me about being from Jupiter, I stay calm. Eventually, the doors open, and I pay my ¥300 entry fee.

It isn’t just the gardens that are open to the public for the next two months, but also a gallery of artwork depicting samurai and legends. Good quality artwork; dated. No photography is allowed inside the gallery, but for anyone in Tokyo right now or in the coming months, I urge you to visit. It is for a great cause, and the artwork is stunning. After wandering around inside for a time, I head out into the gardens, where my breath is stolen away by the beauty.

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Why these gardens are normally closed is beyond me. Prior to the earthquake, the gardens were visited exclusively by noblemen. One thousand square metres of garden, made by an eminent gardener in the early 17th century, sit behind hidden walls. A small building known as Denbou-in stands in the garden, a place where priests from the temple would train in Buddhist discipline. It also became a lodging place for the many nobles that came here to visit. I wander around the circuit, following the route of the signs, and take great care with the multiple signs instructing me to, “Please stop walking, drink in the garden!”

After enjoying the scenery, I head, as usual, to Cafe Byron Bay. Today, I am taking part in a television show starring Yoshio Kojima, a comedian I previously met back in August.

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The show features a second comedian, Udai Iwasaki. Very little information can be found about this man. Apparently, he won an award in 2013 for being the funniest man in Japan. He is in a comedy group known as Kamomental, which translates to mean Duck Metal, and his blood type is AB. When researching Yoshio Kojima, I am not at all surprised to find a mention of his blood type, a slight obsession in Japan similar to horoscopes. For the record, his blood type is O.

The show is in English and is a tour of Yoshio Kojima’s favourite neighbourhood, Asakusa. “This coffee is very comfortable,” he says, sipping on his latte. Everyone gets interviewed about where they are from or why they came to Japan before Yoshio Kojima treats us to his famous catchphrase, performed again in English. After that, the show ends. I get a chance to talk to the comedians a little after the shooting. Both of them have excellent English ability and are both very nice people.

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The show will air on CS TV Asahi on either May 10th or 24th, but the television people haven’t decided yet. Overall, the shooting was good fun, but I am not sure how much of myself will be included in the final cut.

I leave the cafe and start walking toward my house. As part of my application process to stay in Japan a little longer, I have to get my photograph taken. I find a photo booth that offers the size of photograph that I require, and after inserting my ¥900, I discover that the booth speaks two languages, Japanese and American. Call me naïve, but I didn’t know that there was a language called American. Regardless, a nice man speaks to me in English after I select this option, photographs are snapped, and finally, I am given the chance to modify my photographs. With summer just a few months away, I opt for the sun tan option. “Your photograph will be ready in nineteen seconds,” says the voice in English. Very precise.

As I near my house, two policemen surround me, and in broken English, they ask me for my identification, look at every card in my wallet, search my pockets, write things down, look at me with suspicion, then they apologise, get back on their one-speed bicycles, and disappear; presumably to harass somebody else. A part of me questions their selection process, and for whatever reason, I become adamant that it has something to do with me being from Europa.

Japanese New Year’s Day

This morning, my plan is to wake up early to catch the first sunrise of the New Year. In my usual tardy fashion, I oversleep and wake up at 7 a.m. with the sun shining through my window. Always next year, I suppose. I head over to Asakusa to meet Christine. The fierce winds of last night have completely gone, but it is still cold outside. In fact, I might see my first Tokyo snow rather soon. I notice that the usual New Year’s Day kebab wrappers, vomit, people asleep in the gutter, and smashed beer bottles are missing from the street. Instead, people are cheerfully whistling on their way to work, and there isn’t a speck of litter on the immaculate Tokyo pavements.

I take Christine to the train station to see her off. Perhaps it’s tiredness or a hangover; who knows? But, I take her to the wrong train station. After rectifying my mistake, we rush to the correct station, but Christine misses her train by two minutes. Luckily, the next train will be arriving in half an hour, and she somehow manages to get to the airport in time for her flight. With the rest of the morning to kill, I head home to do a little writing before heading to Kudanshita Station.

I head over to Yasukuni Shrine and join the queue of thousands of other people there for Hatsumode.

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Hatsumode is traditionally the first visit to a shrine of the New Year. During this visit, the first wish of the year is made, and it is said that this very first wish is always granted by the gods. The entrance to the shrine is lined with the usual market of delicious-smelling food—something to tempt me on the way out, no doubt.

After making my wish, I take a wander around Yasukuni Shrine. This shrine is steeped in controversy as it houses the spirits of people who died in combat while fighting for Japan in wars between 1867 and 1951. Additionally, the shrine honours the souls of deceased war criminals. There is a museum here where you can read letters written by kamikaze pilots that were left for their loved ones before they died.

After exploring the shrine, I decide to indulge in some sticks of fried cheese, along with my favourite street food: strange-looking but delicious yakisoba, layered in seaweed. I don’t care that my food looks like garden worms. ¥600 well spent.

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I wander through the markets in the shrine and decide to purchase an omamori, a Japanese amulet sold at religious shrines. This talisman will find its place in my house, offering good fortune and protection from evil spirits. Next, I pay ¥100 to receive my second fortune of the year. Unfortunately for me, my fortune is written in Japanese. I attempt to translate it myself, and I get the following message:

“Whoever meets in this fortune is brought happiness that appeared by virtue of good people. I will be appearing, but the eye of devotion remains out of sight, like a ball hidden in the stone.”

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On the way out of the temple, a man dressed as a dragon tries to ‘eat’ my head; apparently, this creature can devour the evil spirits residing inside me and cleanse my mind. Free sake is also offered, with donations welcome. I decide to leave the shrine and head back to Minowa to enjoy traditional New Year’s Day food.

My meal consists of shiitake mushrooms, carrots, lotus root, potatoes, burdock root, konnyaku, and taro potato, all generously given to me by one of the Japanese people who live in my apartment. The food is absolutely delicious.

After dinner, I decide to do something completely unrelated to Japanese New Year’s Day traditions. I open a cardboard stocking of weird snacks that my friend Marcus kindly gave me as a Christmas present. My snacks are as follows:

Tamago Boro, translating to mean ‘egg biscuits’, are crunchy round snacks that taste nothing like egg, only sugar. For no apparent reason, the packet features a giraffe kicking a football.

Chibichan Noodle claims, “Chicken I do eat as it is!” and suggests not adding any water. “Please make a sound when you eat. Pori pori.” Apparently, that’s the noise it makes when you chew on this treat. Imagine a packet of supermarket instant noodles that have been crushed. Add the little sachet of chicken seasoning, and then eat them raw. That’s what Chibichan Noodle tastes like to me. Horrible.

Pirate Candy: just seven individually wrapped orange-flavoured boiled sweets. Nothing exciting, and nothing that ties in with an association to pirates, as far as I can see. The Japanese text here says, “Let’s aim to reach Candy Island. Let’s go!

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Abeseika Melon: these melon-flavoured snacks look like small headache tablets and have the texture of chalk. “Please enjoy as much as possible after opening!” Surprisingly, this is actually my favourite of the six snacks. The sweet quickly dissolves in my mouth, leaving behind a bitter lemon flavour and what can only be described as a ‘citrus blast’.

Kureyon Shin-chan: this snack features a popular anime character produced by TV Asahi. These little colourful balls of white, yellow, green, and orange taste just like gobstoppers. Perhaps they are. Oddly, the company that produces this particular snack is called Punishment, Inc. Although, I’ll happily admit that I have terrible translation skills.

Karappa: Finally, we have Karappa, which sounds to me like the English word ‘crap.’ This light and crunchy ring-shaped corn snack has the flavour of ‘famous’ Umauma Sauce. It has the same texture as Monster Munch and tastes a lot like beef. Although, I am led to believe Umauma Sauce is the flavour of horse meat.